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I am the reason why Waldo is hiding.
I like to friend friends of friends then unfriend the first friend to freak out the friend of a friend.
Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing.
Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago.
My wife told me, "I look really fat. Please make me feel better and compliment me." I said, "You have perfect eyesight."
Don’t be upset that you’re single; be happy that someone isn’t ruining your life.
yelling at the referee that he made a mistake has never worked, No Referee has never turned around and said, "Why yes your are right silly me I did make a mistake, penalty denied, goal kick"
I’m a pervert, but in a romantic way.
one day a man seen a fairy, and asked.... could you make me irresistible to all women.... so she turned him into a credit card. :`D
"Hi, I`m here to ruin your life" - Social media
on a scale of 1-10 how honest are you? I would say 10 but then i would be lying!
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It`s true... The less I see of someone, the more I like them!
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
I don’t drink to forget, I… what was I saying?
I like to finish other people`s sentences because my version is better.