Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sex is great, but.....Have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?!?!
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%…unless you’re donating blood…
If you sneeze near an atheist, they just say "science appreciates you".
The package says "Do not eat raw cookie dough" but all I really see is "Pillsbury hates you and doesn`t want you to be happy."
It’s not really drinking alone if the dog is home ... right?
Somebody needs to invent a voice-activated refrigerator on wheels.
Sometimes bigger is just heavier
To skip any youtube ad just change ‘youtube’ to ‘youtubeskip’ in the url of any video. You’re welcome.
They ordered two extra large pizzas at work. I wonder what everyone else is going to eat.
I don´t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
I`m just 1 nap, 8 beers, 2 orgasms and my own personal robot away from this being the best day ever.
A friend of mine asked if I was coming to her wedding. I said no, I`ll catch the next one. She`s mad at me now.
I may not be the smartest guy in the world, or the richest guy in the world, or the best looking guy in the world, but.... Oh, hell. Now I`m depressed.
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for — in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don`t have to.