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If you are hotter than me, wouldn’t that make me cooler than you.
Just once I would like to read a warning label that says "May cause permanent weight loss, remove wrinkles, and increase energy."
I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn’t reach very far.
Haters gonna hate, your honor
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
Zombies only eat brains. You’re safe.
Sometimes I run toward people & expect them to know that I want them to do the Dirty Dancing lift but they never know and I slam into them.
My resume is basically just a list of things I hate to do.
When one door closes, another opens ... I had a Chevette that was like that.
I got kicked out of my Community Theater group when the director asked to see me Limp. How was I to know he was talking about walking?
If the plan is “drink beer now, figure out life later” then yes, everything is going according to plan.
Why,does facebook want to make the likes one gets on their status like a story,like:peter and 500 others like this,click and see james and 499 others like this............
You`re the reason I wake up everyday. Just kidding I have a job.
There are people on Facebook who don`t realize the difference between "What`s on your mind" or "I should talk to a therapist about this"
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I