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Who says nothing is impossible. I´ve been doing nothing for years.
I`m a good singer. Unfortunately I have a bad voice.
Remember way back when the only thing that was annoying on your feed were game requests?
My kids refuses to play with the Ouija Board anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
I just apologized to my wife for something she did wrong. Marriage is fun.
I hate when I`m on Facebook and I`m rudly interrupted by a jogger bouncing off my windshield
How come phones only get lost when they are on silent?
Some psychologists say that sleeping naked can help boost a person`s confidence, but nobody in this park seems to appreciate it.
Nothing like working out to make you feel like you deserve that burger and fries.
Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
Man, just think how crazy Gollum goes on the 5th day of Christmas.
Good for you, people that do things.
Just found my TV remote and a newspaper in my fridge. It`s pretty awesome that society lets me live by myself.
Putting your finger on someone`s lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word" is super-romantic. But the cops didn`t think so.
Guy on plane: So, where are you going? Me: I`m guessing it`s the same place you`re going.