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“Over my dead body” doesn’t mean “no.” It means I get to do what I want and as a bonus I get to kill you.
Remember they’re just as afraid of seeing you dance as you are of dancing.
There`s a certain age where you can no longer use the term "Good girl gone bad". It`s more like "Her old a$$ should know better"
Nothing improves creativity like a lack of supervision!
Valentines Day is the only day of the year that the guy with the smallest package gets the girl.
Reality is for those who can`t handle alcohol
My son asked me to explain women to him, so I bought him an XBOX game for his Playstation.
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant. Agree or nah??
If two cannibals fight, does that make it a food fight?
I really think there should be a separate driving lane for those of us running solely on caffeine and rage.
Maybe if I tilt my head to the side I can understand English – dogs
Being single is the worst sh!t ever. Being in a relationship is a close second.
I do everything faster when I have to pee.
I love Ebay. Sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month.
The early bird gets the worm! So does the late bird. They all get worms all the time; there`s tons of those things. Relax, there will always be a lota worms......