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A cash bar on parent-teacher conference nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.
Roses are red! violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Snot.
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
Alcohol: Because no good story starts with “So this one time I was eating a salad….”
The problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude about the problem.
Honking your horn won´t make them go any faster, but at least they´ll know that you´re an asshole.
bras are booby-traps
It isn`t a successful BBQ until some drunken idiot walks face first into a closed sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
I got kicked out of the audience of "Cats" on Broadway for bringing a laser pointer.
News flash! someone just found Carmon Sandiego!
You actually are not the stupidest person on the planet. But if he were to die...
The girl next door looks over at me, then her phone, then makes a disgusted look on her face. I think she`s just found my Facebook account
I mixed Taco Bell sauce into my Ramen Noodles, It tastes exactly like poverty.
The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.
You find it offensive? ... I find it funny ... That`s why I`m happier than you.