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I downloaded this app called "Hide & Go Seek". Ever since then I cant find my damn phone.
“Are you working right now? Where are you working?” Facebook is worse than my parents.
The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.
"If you can`t handle me at my worst, then you don`t deserve me at my best" literally translates to "I`m a loud, sloppy drunk."
I don`t know what I would do without you, but I bet it`s awesome.
Just saw the book "Marriage for Dummies." ... Shouldn`t there be an "is" in there somewhere?
I try and avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they`re in the middle of a race.
My best relationship advice: Make sure you`re the crazy one.
1 in 3 Americans, weighs as much as the other 2.
For those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word shopping.
She deleted and blocked me so I guess you can say we`re taking it slow now.
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
I love the phrase "boobie trapped" I mean, who doesn`t like to be trapped by boobies????
So long pants! See you Monday!
Let’s be the generation that stops putting things in our butts and having to go to the emergency room to get them taken out, shall we?