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All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
According to Tetley the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag so i slap her arse and shout "cup ot tea fatty"
All women are crazy. But, if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will let you live.
Google was first named, `BackRub`. If they hadn`t changed the name, we`d be saying, `I don`t know, go BackRub it.`
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
I know you`re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?
I like telling people to "grow up" because even if they hate me I can visit them ten years later and say "Took my advice I see"
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
"Well that can`t be right." - dogs watching us catching balls with our hands
How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box for me to start a campfire?
Love is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
I never run with scissors…those last two words were unnecessary.
There were 2 muffins in a muffin shop the first 1 says "I love being a muffin!" then the 2 muffin says ``Holy crap its a talking muffin!"
Welcome to fight club..., you may now kiss the bride.
According to the customer service, the cable guy should be here sometime between 10:00 a.m. and the return of Christ.