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School is like an erection. It`s long and hard unless you`re Asian.
I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
I`m proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don`t want to hang out with you now but I`m still proud...
My Therapist told me not to drink while I`m on my Meds but little does she know...I`ve been off my Meds for almost a week now!
Don`t act like your not impressed.
Must be lonely over there on "I`m offended by jokes" island.
We`re sorry to announce that due to budget cuts the beloved carol "Silver Bells" will be replaced with the more cost effective carol "Aluminium Bells".
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they look.
Sometimes I think these Kardashians are just doing stuff for the attention.
Like if you remember the correlation between a pencil and a cassette tape ...
30 seconds left on the microwave ~ Women: set table, pour drinks, tweet, talk on the phone ~ Men: do the space shuttle countdown
I`ve found that nowadays most people don`t like holding hands in public. Especially if you don`t know them.
"No! Don`t leave me! I need you! Nooooo!" I say as my laptop cords slowly slides off my bed onto the floor.
I already know that I`m going to hell ... At this point it`s really go big or go home.
The iPad: Because the iPhone was too small for other people to notice you.