Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he`s adopted.
The real danger of running with scissors is that a rock might fall on you.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time"............................... An often used phrase in a lot of my memories.
Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
Can someone`s face be a pet peeve?
"Just so you know, you`re coming home with me tonight." I whisper to all the leftover food on the table from our dinner date.
“Too much milk left need more cereal” always leads to “too much cereal need more milk”
The Push Up ice cream company should just buy out Pringles and make all of our lives easier.
Wanna try something funny? Go to a bank and yell "NOBODY MOVE..(Scary pause)..I lost a contact lens."
The Australian kiss is just like the French kiss but down under.
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of people wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Wait… Regular or Asian?
What I lack in sex appeal I make up in staying home and drinking.
This hot fudge sundae hasn`t killed me so it must be making me stronger.
The only reason I keep people`s phone numbers in my phone is to avoid their calls..