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I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
If you can´t afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don´t know where you are.
Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, who the F#%K are you?
I’m considering becoming a mind reader ... What are your thoughts?
I love you in a bipolar way because I hate you.
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
I hate it when I’m singing along to a song, and the artist gets it wrong.
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low…Well, sure, it’s hard to steal a car when the owner’s living in it…
You know what I hate? People who answer their own questions.
If I were to quit my job today and become a psychic, I would advertise with a sign that reads, “Voted best psychic of 2016!"
If it was not for electricity, we would all be watching T.V. by candle light.
Son, you don`t get anything in life without trying hard and working for it. Now be quiet, there about to announce the lottery results...
This day will end with either wine or shopping. Probably both.
If your friends tell you not to give in to peer pressure and you don`t: technically, you did
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.