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FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"
Why do the people with the most annoying voices always appear to have the worst case of verbal diarrheal??!!
My neighbors look at me in a very weird way.. it’s like they never saw a guy with binoculars before.
If you can’t face it, moon it.
is easily distracted by shiny objects.
"Go left at the chopsticks in the road" - Chinese directions
I know there are some people we say were dropped on their heads as babies. But there are others that were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall & fell out the window.
I`m obviously smarter than you`re
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming
Do they have to play movies so loud at the theatre? I litterally have to scream into my phone.
I have reliable inside information about Apple`s next product. I will not be able to afford it.
National no bra day wasn`t as successful as the creators had hoped. due to sagging attendants and lack of support.
If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.
Please help control the pet population, have that special talk with your pet!
The first guy who made fire by rubbing two sticks together probably did a lot of other weird sh!t.