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People who live in glass houses must have to clean up a lot of dead birds.
The guy below me obviously doesn`t know that R2-D2 is in movies, not television
I don`t "get lost". I find creative ways to get places I didnt know I wanted to go.
There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note “Don’t eat me”.Now there’s an empty plate and a note “Don’t tell me what to do”
There is a method to my madness….and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable
You know what would make this Vodka & cranberry better? The Bahamas.
If by cat person you mean I like to sleep all day and poo in sand then yes I am a cat person.
Here’s a joke for all you mind readers out there…
Happy 4/21! National work drug testing day!
Your girlfriend is rated E... For Everyone
Elevators are so stupid. They have a button for the floor I`m already on.
The term "chubby chasers" is so inaccurate and misleading. Cause we don`t run.
First rule of Pizza club, you don’t share it.
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........
Not everyone understands my laundry method. It`s simple. If it`s clean, it`s on the floor. If it`s dirty, it`s on the floor over there.