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I get carried away sometimes… Usually because I refuse to leave.
Does this green St Patrick`s Day beer count as a vegetable.
I wish I could google the things I’ve misplaced.
is "insert clever remark here."
Guys, if my hair doesn`t look like a birds nest afterward, you`re doing it wrong.
That awkward moment when you gently toss your phone on the bed and it bounces off 3 walls, breaks 2 lamps and kills a cat...
I`m honestly convinced some women do not fart. They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.
Never judge a girl`s boob size by their jacket.
If I pretend to be dead will you stop talking?
? Single ? Taken ? Depends on who`s asking.
If guys had periods, they´d brag about the size of their tampons.
Where is the button to restart summer?
Marriage teaches you forgiveness, compromise and tons of other things you wouldn`t need if you`d stayed single.
I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one.
You`d think the self checkout lanes would have more mirrors.