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FYI: The signs that say "Falling Rocks"....I tried it.....it doesn`t.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can’t see them pick their nose?
Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
"Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam
Zombies and I have a lot in common; we both walk around aimlessly looking for something to eat.
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
The only exercise I`ve done this month is running out of money
My head hurts, I think my horns are coming in...
China has largest population not because the men are extra horny nor women are extra fertile but because... Their condoms are made in China.
You don`t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
“I wonder how much weight I’ve lost.” -Me, after eating one healthy meal.
I love how television has redefined the word `marathon` to the exact opposite of physical exercise
You`re right, you didn`t ask that guy for a d!ck pic, but nobody asked for hundreds of pictures of your face either.
God: Is there anything else you need Adam? Adam: yes I want a Sandwich! God: Ok let`s create eve.
God is pretty creative. I mean, look at me.