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What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig ? The letter F ?
I see you`re busy. I`ll come back later and ruin your free time.
Gatorade always has athletes in their commercials sweating and working hard. They really should target their real consumer. A Fat guy on the couch nursing a hangover. Is it in you?
I was offering free mammograms in the company parking lot long before my employer was doing it ... just sayin
Why is it that the most interesting things in life usually aren`t in our best interest?
The only difference between doggy style and reverse cowgirl is who wants to watch the TV more.
You`re an intellectual who doesn`t read books? I completely understand because I`m an athlete that rarely moves.
You know it´s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
I`m holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team
Weird how old people suddenly stop being so deaf the second you put music they don’t like on
It`s the weekend!!! I haven`t been this excited since my phone got stuck on vibrate.
love me or leave me,,HEY!!! where is everybody going?
They should make a "How It`s Made" episode on how "How It`s Made" is made.
Let’s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.
I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.