Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Any psycho girls wanna hang out? Just text me like 5000 times and let me know.
You can never read a doctor`s prescription, but you can sure read his bill
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.. do they just give you a bra and say, "here fill this out"..?
In the United States a man gets kicked in the groin every 6.2 seconds. I would hate to be that man.
Mall kiosk employees are basically human pop up ads.
Sometimes I get so mad at myself for being too lazy that I don`t even do anything about it.
The one thing you never wanna hear when your father catches you watching porn is... "Scoot over."
I guess I’ll take my Christmas tree down today.
Alcohol doesn`t get people drunk, people get people drunk. Drunk people get other drunk people extra drunk.
Pee your name in the snow and you`ll quickly understand why they should teach cursive in our schools.
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off your life.... Based on the math, I should have died in 1732.
The only thing instant glue sticks to instantly is fingers.
I didn`t see anyone important today, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes tomorrow.
Mix it up a little. Text a random phone number the following msg: "The fat one won`t fit into the woodchipper. What do you want me to do?"
If you get pulled over, ignore the cop and tell him that your mommy told you not to talk to strangers.