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I love the show Gotham....OBSESSED!!! But they constantly have the Twitter hashtag #gotham in the corner of the screen, and I`m always thinking..."No I don`t have ham! But I want ham." Sometimes I miss parts of the showing thinking about the fact that I don`t have ham..... Obviously I need to have ham on the menu every Monday night. #noidontgotham
The voices in my head tell me not to listen to the voices in my head, and now I don`t know who to listen to anymore
You`ve reached the limitations of my medications.
My dad taught me righty tighty, lefty loosie.... that`s why I never dated left handed chicks.
If my superpower was to be able to stop time, I`d totally use it to take a nap without people noticing.
Got an awesome watch for my birthday. It was waterproof, shockproof, fireproof, bulletproof, acidproof, childproof & scratchproof. I lost it already.
I`m a Leader not a follower. Unless it`s a dark place...then you`re going first!
Can Walmart be a feeling? I think that`s how I feel today.
Yesterday was international ninja day and I didn`t even know. Well played ninja day, well played.
Beer doesn’t have that many vitamins in it…that’s why you have to drink a lot.
The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
Tell a girl she pretty she`ll believe it for a minute. Tell a girl she has Miley Cyrus` butt she`ll believe it for a lifetime
Time to turn over a new leaf ... With my luck it’ll be poison ivy.
Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don`t like.
If he uses an iPhone 5 in Taken 3 he`s going to be spending half the movie charging it.