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So when a couple gets engaged on Facebook for April Fools it`s okay to comment "hahaha" but the rest of the year it`s rude??
All my childhood invisible friends are probably doctors and lawyers now.
I will write something profound ... subsoil!
It`s tough being a people person when you can`t stand most people.
Dyslexics of the world.. UNTIE!
Our phone falls, we panic... our friends fall, we laugh.
I just want one spam email that`s like, "Congratulations! You have a perfect-sized p*nis."
I hate it when people exaggerate my mistakes and make it seem like I’ve commited a crime.
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
been there, done that, wrote the book and have the t-shirt to prove it. What more do you want!
Life is like a bowl of soup; you only get blown if you’re hot.
You want to see Americans become activists? Cancel a TV show they like.
They need to put more spider poison in hairspray.
Who ever says "words can`t hurt you" has never been hit in the face with a dictionary.
It’s not my fault God gave you boobs to stare at.