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Do you ever just get a random burst of motivation to clean your house, write a novel, paint a masterpiece or read a book ... Yeah, me neither.
Every time I see a safety warning on a product I can`t help think to myself how natural selection has failed us once again...
If you want your team to win a sporting event just tell me. I will root for the other team. That will guarantee a win for your team.
Q: What do you call apple-flavoured marijuana? A: iPot
Why is it called cat nip and not meowjuana?
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
I only use elevators for one thing. Surprise group hugs
Why do we only crave what`s bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, sex with strangers. You never hear anyone say "I`d kill for some salad"
If Kutcher went to Sheen and said It`s still your show, this was all a joke and yelled "You got Punked" it would be the greatest prank ever.
Education is a process where we waste one half of our life learning how to waste the other half of our life!!
Just assume that we aren’t close enough for you to send me a game invites on Facebook.
My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
I wonder if Monday can see my middle finger from here?
awesome collection!
I was at the hospital earlier today and saw a cute girl with a cast on her leg. Naturally, my first thought was "Hey, this one can`t run away..."