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You, my friend, deserve a high-five... that’s four more fingers than I normally give.
I miss newspapers. It`s weird hitting a dog on the nose with an iPad
I went to a vegan restaurant once. Wait, no, that was just a florist.
Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo.
There`s a fine line between crazy and free spirited and it`s usually a prescription.
Ever have to poop and your abdominals start to relax just as you near the toilet, and then you notice that `Out of Order` sign or the empty toilet paper dispenser?
Appearing on several episodes of Cops doesn`t make you a TV star.
thinks we need to think like a first grade teacher and separate Romney and Gingrich next time they debate!
Some things make you go hmm. Some things make you go ugh! I make you go "Did he really just say that?"
If I knew how to backflip, I`d never walk anywhere.
AT this stage in my life an ALL NIGHTER JUST means I didn`t have to get up and pee....
Is professional lollygagger an actual job yet?
The bad news: I took the wrong medication today. The good news: For the next 3 months I`m protected against heartworms and fleas.
That horrible moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching…
Of course I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.