Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I look forward to the day that cell phone technology finally catches up with technology in digital watches and they release a model that is water resistant up to 100 meters.
You know you are old when your parties have glasses instead of red plastic cups.
There were only 3 commandments until Moses’ wife got involved.
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
I used to have a life. Then some idiot came along and said "Why don’t you make a Facebook account? It`s fun".
I like my women like I like my motorcycles. Not ridden by all my friends.
Waldo wears stripes because he doesn`t want to be spotted !
I guarantee there`s a pregnant teenager somewhere who thinks `Ebola` would be a lovely name for their child.
It`s 2014 and somehow we still don`t have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are.
Not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time consuming.
Time to get Star Spangled hammered. Happy 4th you crazy Americans.
If you are offended by the words "In God We Trust" on your money, then send it to me. I don`t mind it at all.
If you enjoy being the 10,000th person to put your thumb into a hole, then bowling is for you.
I´m up way too early for someone who wasn´t planning on seizing the day.
I know you’re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?