Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"You know what, we need a huge spoon to take care of this" -Guy who invented shovels
This bulk box of peanuts I got from Costco tastes like styrofoam.
Do you know what sexual position produces the ugliest children? ... Go ask your mother.
What age is the best to break it to my kids, that they`re NOT adopted?
I saw a lady with twins babies. One had a shirt that said ‘Copy’ the other ‘Paste’. That made my day.
I don`t mind being wrong, as long as nobody knows.
Does this 50 pound bag of cat food make me look single?
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D
My wife was so sick this morning that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast.
OK look, if I meet you for a date and you don`t look anything like your pic, then you`re buying drinks for me until you do.
7.1 billion people in the world. 0 willing to lower their standards and date me.
I’ve found that the things I’m most interested in aren’t really in my best interest.
I saw my ex getting beaten up by half a dozen thugs. For a second, I thought, "Should I help?" Then I thought, "No...6 should be enough."
“Have you tried just eating a ton of pizza?”- me as a therapist
Once again its friday I know its only been 7 days since the last one but feels like its been a week....