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School is like an erection. It`s long and hard unless you`re Asian.
If there is no chocolate in heaven...I AM NOT GOING!
You should be able to park in an “expecting mother” parking space if you’re waiting for your mom.
You know you`re getting older when you play GTA and spend 3 hours just walking around the map trying to find where you parked your car.
We should`ve let the guy who named oranges keep naming other stuff.
I do not gossip ... I pass things along ... It`s like a public service.
Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
I`ve heard that men that are married live longer, but i`ve also heard that men that have sex live longer. Anybody know which one of them is true?
First Rule of Camping: Put up the tent before you start drinking.
I’m tired of chasing my dreams, I`m just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.
I hate it when the little voices argue with my imaginary friends.
This coffee would work better if I could throw it at people.
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
I believe in equality. If we have a 5 day week of work, we should have 5 day weekends as well dammit.
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It`s true... The less I see of someone, the more I like them!