Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Helpful Tip: A ceiling fan won`t cut a bagel in half ... Not even on top speed
The only difference between the 13yr old me and the 28yr old me is that my kool-aid now contains vodka.
Wishing you a fabulous 2014 that is full of great achievements and experiences. A meaningful chapter waiting to be written HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I`m afraid to hug fat girls....what if they`re hungry?
thinks the voices in my head are out of beer.
I enjoy planting sex toys at yard sales in nice neighborhoods, then sit back to watch the magic unfold.
Don`t look at me in that tone of voice...
Keep calm and pretend today isn’t Monday.
Who needs the weather network when you have Facebook.
you know you`ve been facebooking too much when you accidentally say "LOL", in person...
I thought an emu was when you sent someone a cow via cyber mail.
Take Note: a stress ball can be used for throwing at people who stress you out.. You`re Welcome..
If flying is really so safe, then why is it called the `terminal`?
Sometimes I wonder if I could get away with murder, but then I remember I can’t even eat pancakes without getting syrup all over me.
Do you want to hear a joke about constipation and dementia? ...Well, tough sh!t, I forgot it.