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There are over 4 million workplace injuries reported every year. Play it safe…call in sick tomorrow.
Honestly, I`m so awesome that I wish I could meet myself and get my own autograph.
Iron man is a super hero, Iron woman is a command.
Why do some people call it a "tuna-fish" sandwich? It`s not like anyone calls it a "chicken-bird" sandwich.
Cops don’t like it when they tell you to put your hands up in the air...then you wave them like you just don’t care.
If by “clubbing” you mean eating club sandwiches then yeah I’m pretty into the club scene.
Relationship status: Runs alone at night in hopes of being abducted.
It only takes a second to show someone how you feel. The police call it “Indecent Exposure” but whatever.
Cleavage is like the sun. You can look, but don’t stare.. Unless you’re wearing sunglasses.
Does anyone else get scared when a text reads "Can I ask you a question?"
my mom and I have so much in common..she doesn`t listen and niether do I :p
I don`t know why people freak out and run when they see a spider. They are just gonna climb in your mouth when you are sleeping anyway.
With so many things coming back in style, I can`t wait until morals and intelligence become a trend again.
You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a challenge. ;)
The most frightening thing about nightmares is realizing that they were created by your mind.