Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The most common name In China is Chang, correct me if you think it’s Wong.
Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.
I love you with all my thighs. I would say my heart, but my thighs are much bigger.
Political debates are great if you want to watch idiots talk to us like idiots to prove that the idiot next to them is a bigger idiot.
Life rarely hands me anything. Am I in the wrong line?
There really should be awards for getting out of bed.
Peanut butter and jelly. That´s what I like in my belly
I get as much action as a white crayon.
Drinking: because why not intensify the feelings you’re trying to escape?
Nobody pissed me off today... I got to get out more.
I need to find a job where I am paid solely on how awesome I am.
If you give up smoking, drinking, and sex, you don’t live longer, just seems longer.
Any way you can speed this up, officer? I`m obviously in a hurry.
I`m so lonely I drive around town with a coffee cup glued to the roof of my car just so people will wave at me.
`Google`` must be a woman, because it knows everything.