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It`s all fun and games until you find out she`s a psychotic bitch...
I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what’s going on and there’s a lot of wine drinking.
On average I spend $75 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
Just realized I have more in common with Garfield than I have with most people
Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they`re singing about the same girl & get mad at each other.
A German boy pushed his brother off a cliff. He then turned to his mother and said "Look Mom! No Hans!"
People in glass houses shouldn`t masturbate during the day....
Buying a smart car seems like a good idea until you hit a squirrel and flip over a few times.
I will be good today... I will be good today... I will be good today... Yeah.... I didn`t believe it either..
I just assume I do everything wrong since I don`t have a wife to confirm it.
I’ve been single so long I deserve a bachelors degree.
If your online dating profile says "I don`t have sex on the first date" then that`s why you`re on a dating website.
You know what I just realized that in school they teach you not to do what you don`t want to do yet they still give us homework and we get in trouble because we didn`t want to do it ( confused )
I`m going to stop off at the fabric store before my next status to get some new material!
Just finished building Rome with Legos. Took me a day.