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India launched a rocket to Mars yesterday… That’s a heck of a place to put a call center.
HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T
Anyone that tells you money is the root of all evil is f*cking broke.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
At this point in life, my greatest chance of having a threesome will be sex with a schizophrenic.
Fact: No woman has ever shot a man while he is doing the dishes!
Love is like a rubber band, we keep pulling, someone let’s it go, and it hurts the one who held on.
You know you`re all grown up when you actually pick up the ice cube instead of kick it under the fridge.
Secret Web Cam Test: Please nod your head yes if you can read this.
Hitting the lotto is a sure way to stop hating on Mondays...
You know you drank too much last night when you have to use google maps to locate yourself the next morning.
I want to live in a world where it’s never too late for breakfast food and never too early for pizza.
Take my advice; I don’t use it anyway.
I don`t have a drinking problem........I just celebrate everything!!! Like the fact that I have pants on, I`ll be celebrating that tonight.
I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.