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A world without women would be a pain in the a$$.
Taco Bell is donating burritos to feed firefighters in Colorado. Talk about putting gas on the fire,
It`s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the smart one
I found out why I`m still single. Apparently, you have to go outside and let people see you.
I’m late for a disappointment.
I farted on my wallet. Now I have gas money
Everytime I find the key to happiness, somebody changes the lock.
How funny is it when you’re telling somebody a made-up story and someone says “Oh yeah I heard about that”?
To the woman with six screaming kids in Walmart, if you wonder how those condoms got in your cart, you’re welcome.
Sometimes people come into your life and they need to stop doing that
This weekend, a woman in colorado gave birth inside a Wal Mart. Apparently, its the first thing found in a Wal Mart not made in China.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else...
My haters only have one advantage over me. They can kiss my a$$, I can`t.
I really like what you`ve done with your crazy.