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the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
I’ve had no formal martial arts training, but I know for a fact the Power Rangers are wasting too much energy on unnecessary summersaults
Only thing harder than quitting cold turkey is quitting warm ham. It`s delicious.
No matter what the product, a good way to throw off an aggressive salesman is to interrupt him and ask, “Yes, but does it work on cats?”
Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.
I`d have a longer attention span if things weren`t so shiny.
Sharing your faith on Facebook is like sharing a fart in a elevator. It might feel nice to come out but no one really wants to hear it.
I don`t mind being wrong, as long as nobody knows.
The best part about being an adult is, nobody can tell you, you can`t have ice cream for breakfast.
Success, like a fart, only bothers people when its not their own.
I need to start setting an alarm to go to bed.
We can put laser-equipped robots on Mars, but wrinkled dollar bills still don’t work in vending machines?
A panda never pays his bills, because he eats shoots and leaves!!!
Drinking Game: Tape a fake mustache to your TV. Drink every time it lines up with someone`s face.
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