Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
Everyone has a right to their own opinion, no matter how wrong they are. And that`s why we have a problem.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
Limbo champion walks into a bar...he`s disqualified.
Sometimes I whisper, "I`m on your side" to the computers, just in case they ever succeed in taking over the world...
If you`re married and having trouble, ask "what would Jesus do?" then remember that jesus was never married.
My boss told me that there is no such thing as problems, only opportunities. I said, “That’s great. Well I have a serious drinking opportunity.”
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed, it ruled.
What idiot named it a mugshot instead of a cellfie?
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much shit to carry.
I`ve found a new coping mechanism....................COOKIES!
Thanks to Netflix I can tell my doctor I`ve done a lot of "marathons"
I never cry over spilt milk. But, beer? That sh!t`s totally different.
Having a pen!s is like having a friend that always wants to play.
My rabbit died yesterday… Now he’s just some bunny that I used to know…