Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I finally figured out why men love belly rings so much on their women. It reminds them of the staple in the middle of their porn magazines!
I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive.
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
I’m better at remembering people who have bad breath than important historical facts.
God made men. But sandwiches weren`t going to make themselves. So God made women.
You can tell by a woman`s feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
Sunday morning = lazy lay in my bed and fart under my sheets all day :)
My anaconda really doesn`t care if you got buns or not.
My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick. Especially since his name is Mike.
Hey whiny kids with iPhones: when I was your age, I played with a stick.
Nice try salad bars, there`s only one kinda bar I plan on attending.
Redneck WORD OF THE DAY: WATER My girlfriend gets mad and I don`t even know water problem is!
The trick is not let anyone know how really weird you are until it’s too late to back out.
Ghetto Word of the Day: Window "Imma pay my baby mamma her child support. I just don’t know window".
If only there was a way to voice a highly uneducated opinion to thousands of people on a regular basis