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LOOK A UFO! Quick, grab the worst camera money can buy.
I`m sorry call me old fashioned,but i think your shorts should be longer than your vagina...
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood, until they move...
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
F*ck It - My final thought before making decisions.
With great power comes great electricity bill.
Based on commercials, every single car has won car of the year.
“I don’t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others’ lives sounds fun!” – How I got out of jury duty
Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life! Unless you’re an idiot. In that case, please listen carefully.
Lay-Z: My rapper name.
Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?
If you`re feeling too good about yourself, go ask a 5 yr old to guess your age. That should even things out.
are you free tomorrow ?! no I am f**king expensive !!
Lazy Rule#15325434090371466: you`re so lazy you didn`t even finish reading the number.
It’s sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his crappy ACME gadgets, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.