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People will do odd things to get even.
I may contain scenes of violence, nudity and foul language.
Either I need to up my dosage or my income.
Some marriages end up fine, the others last forever.
I have been snoring a lot lately and apparently my coworkers find it distracting
Some days, the best thing about my job is that the chair spins.
You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"
CNN needs to reevaluate the use of Breaking News. Perhaps "Latest Speculative News" or "We Really Don`t Know Shit" would work. CNN call me.
I go on dates just to remind myself that being single is awesome.
What do you get when you cross a pitbull with a computer? I don`t really know but when it megabytes, it megahertz
Come on snooze button, is 9 minutes all you have to offer...I need something in the 2-3 hour range.
Sex is like pizza, if you`re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the f*ck you`re doing
Free middle fingers for everyone!!!
I wish electronics would scream a little bit when you unplugged them.
Word for today: Dipshidiot