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I swear I just go to the strip club for the music.
I`ll be thankful when this thankful month is over.
When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for 2?" I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see him too?"
I`m starting to think the Hangover Fairy and the Angel of Death are the same person.
I don´t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
Some people, even in photos, just look like they smell horrible.
I`m a bad multitasker and even a questionable monotasker
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something
Anything I say or do before I`ve had my coffee doesn`t count.
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
Can anyone recommend a few thousand books on hoarding?
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head...
I put the hot in psychotic.
Maybe if I tilt my head to the side I can understand English – dogs
Being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible