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Easy baked macaroni and cheese recipe: Boil macaroni in water.... follow the rest of the instructions on box. TADA!
I gotta ask you a sirius question....do you know the muffen man
Unlike milk, it is perfectly ok to cry over spilled whiskey.
I don`t always have awkward moments, but when I do I make sure I write them on Facebook so my friends know how awkward they were.
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
Why is there a Stairway to heaven and a highway to hell? There is a lot more traffic going to hell
Sarcasm: just one of the many services I offer ;)
Asking a girl what exactly she looks for in a guy is like asking her "what exactly do I have to do to get friendzoned?
If someone tells you "it`s better than sex" they`re not doing the sex right.
Apparently, I just ate 39 servings of Tic - Tacs.
I love the phrase "boobie trapped" I mean, who doesn`t like to be trapped by boobies????
The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one.
If I could be any animal I`d pick a turtle, strictly for the chance, however slight, I could be turned into a ninja.
I can’t afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair.
When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger and write WASH ME on her face…