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Have you ever seen the look on a mans face when he is truly sorry? Yeah, me either!
You lied....you don`t have a Klondike Bar do ya?
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
There’s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y
If you believe in reincarnation then your tombstone should say “b.r.b” instead of “r.i.p”.
I`m glad I know sign language. It`s pretty handy.
about love
I may be delusional but at least I`m going to Mars in November.
Fruit cocktail is the most disappointing of all the cocktails.
Sure thing.... follow me... I`ll show you the fastest way to get to nowhere.
Pay phones should be replaced with chargers for cell phones.
Sorry I drunk dialed you at 10am.
Don`t worry, kids. Being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
If you think husbands aren`t good listeners, whisper "Come here, I`m naked" from anywhere in the house and see what happens.