Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Halloween Drinking Game: Drink every-time an Elsa (from Frozen) visits your house.
Wine is just grapes for procrastinators.
There`s never been a lazier group of people than the ones that settled on naming a candy bar "Whatchamacallit."
The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn`t just "lay in bed and watch TV all day" I traveled very far thank u
When someone ask me... How are you?... I answer back... You mean in bed?
Congratulations! I`ve finally snapped, and you`re first on my list!
Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight like hell when you try to pick them up and get them in your car.
You call them French Fries…I call them Edible Ketchup Shovels.
Nothing gets me motivated for 10-15 seconds like a good inspirational quote.
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
Have you ever loved someone so much deep in your heart, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping.
You can tell a lot about a person by putting a hidden camera in their bedroom.
There`s a Bullying Support Group meeting, tomorrow night at 8 ... You`d better f*cking be there.
Her: Do you want to run away with me? ME: We won`t actually be running, right?
i made a chicken salad the other day. little bastard didn`t even eat it.