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If it rains on a dream catcher, does that make it a wet dream catcher?
I liked you until you started ignoring me and then I loved you. -Girls ---- Bfanch
Alcohol is never the answer. Unless someone asked me, "What are you doing this weekend?"
You are here: X
Own the day
I do what I want, when I want, where I want. If my wife says it`s okay.
My religious preference, is for you to steer clear of me with yours.
My bank called because they noticed ‘highly suspicious activity’ on my charge account. It was for a gym membership.
Why do we only crave what`s bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, cake... You never hear anyone say "I`d kill for some salad."
To do list- (1). Go to pet store. (2). Buy bird seeds. (3). Ask how long it will take for the birds to grow. (4). Wait for the reaction.
Today is national I don`t feel like doing sh!t today. Celebrate accordingly.
If you`re ever lost in the woods and have a compass, the compass can help you be lost more north.
Cop: Are you on drugs? Me: Why would I sit on drugs? Cop: Have you taken any? Me: Taken them where? Cop: I meant used drugs Me: I prefer new
Honey, You really don`t need to drive me crazy, I am close enough to walk.
Learning to "stop drop and roll" in elementary school lead me to believe catching on fire would be a much more frequent problem in life.