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Did you guys know grammar police rhymes with humorless a$$hole?
You`re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU`RE RICH
I got on-line to check the weather...That was 12 years ago.
You know you watch too much porn when you go to a hospital expecting a threesome.
I eat cake every day because I know somewhere out there, it`s someone`s birthday and I need to show respect.
Women say they love a man in uniform but when i go clubbing in my McDonalds uniform none of them will talk to me....I`m confused
Hey Journey, I stopped believing. What now?
When a girl says she wants you to splurge on her, calm down, it`s not what you think...
I said "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t." but the judge didn`t buy it.
Ghetto wet floor sign: Caution Bitches Be Trippin
My girlfriend left me because I`m a legend ... Or to quote her, `Arrogant`.
If goldfish crackers actually tasted like goldfish-- wait, I just realized I`ve never tasted a goldfish. What if the crackers are accurate?
At times I wish I had a clone, but then I realize, I could never live with that a$$hole.
The Eskimo´s allegedly have 52 words for snow. I have several words for snow also!
Facebook is the reason why my work is not done.