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Anyone else see the irony in Disney World?.. You know, the fact that it`s a giant human trap, ...set by a mouse.
You know something bad is about to happen when someone says "Hold my beer and watch this."
Apparently, starting an impromptu game of leap frog with somebody bending over to tie their shoe is considered rude. Church is boring.
Ugly people who live in glass houses…shouldn`t live in glass houses.
My favorite flavor of ice cream is yes.
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
When do you take 5 hr energy? Right when I get off work ..12am!..beer here I come!
Facebook`s list of "suggested friends" is quite literally a list of people I`ve been avoiding my entire life.
I`m so hungry I could eat without looking down at my phone.
Pro Tip: If you knock on the door to a bathroom stall and someone says "one second," wait more than one second before entering.
I`m not saying i hate you but if you were on fire and i had water i would drink it
thinks we should all jump out of our chairs and do the 5 second happy dance! READY! GO!
If you`re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I`m sorry to tell you it`s not working
I have decided to follow my dreams.....starting with that one where I am naked at work.
Firemen must dread the moment when they`re done for the day and have to find the strength to climb back up the pole.