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Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
Had a big mix up at the store today... Apparently, when the woman said strip down facing me,she was referring to my credit card.
I wash once and dry 3-4 times, depending on how much I want to delay folding my clothes.
169 is still a sex position, but with a creepy guy watching.
I retired from being my brothers keeper when I realised that I was letting in goals that wouldn`t have scored if his post was empty
"Who`s this clown?" - every guy about every other guy who is in a photo with a girl we like
I never said I hated you. I just said that if you where on fire, I would consider roasting marshmallows. Big difference.
It’s my favorite time of the day: How long can I stare directly at my monitor and do absolutely nothing o’clock.
Sorry, I was not paying attention. I was thinking about having sex with you.
Momma didn`t raise no fool. I did this all on my own.
Sometimes I think I`m pretty cool but then I remember plants can eat sun and poop out air.
Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Take a moment and make that sh!t perfect.
While wearing a bikini you show 90% of your body -But men are so polite, that they stare only at the covered places.
If there is a wrong place and a wrong time, I’ll be there.
I got in touch with my musculine side today - laying on the couch all day, eating gross food, playing games...