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I`m kind of clueless about pop culture. I thought "Hogwarts" was an STD
My next relationship will be with someone who thinks "Wine" is a perfectly acceptable answer when he asks what`s for dinner.
I like to dump Skittles in the toilet and then flush it because it looks like a little tiny NASCAR race.
The realization you`ve spoken too loudly when you exclaimed: " My Salad had NUTS!"
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin.
this one time I was in a bush, and this squirrel was like hey, and I was like hey you can`t talk to me your a squirrel and he was like yea I know lmao
The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
Change is always hard.... Especially when a jar of it falls on your head.
I`ve been spending so much time on Facebook, that I forgot the internet has porn.
Pizza will never tell you to apologize to your mother in law
they say there`s love in every corner....gosh I think I`m moving in circles
Okay, I can`t take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?
Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
I haven`t owned a watch for I don`t know how long.