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I think sex is probably the best stress reliever, but I haven’t beaten anyone with a baseball bat before, so I can’t be 100% sure.
Perverts can contribute to society. Look at the disturbed individual who discovered cow`s milk.
Googling ways to dispose of a body, mostly to freak out the douche behind me who keeps staring at my laptop screen
Just found a hole in my sock and now I`m worried that the whole drawer might be pregnant.
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
Just watched The Grey. The wolves left half the Mexican .. to spicy??
Police ordered me to get out of my car `You`re staggering` said the officer .`you`re not to bad looking yourself` I replied
So impolite of people to sneak up on you while you’re talking sh!t about them.
When I say I like to travel, I really just mean I like to get drunk in different places.
You can save a lot of money by walking face-first into a spiderweb every morning instead of buying coffee.
With my eyes. That`s how I roll.
The future was so much cooler in the past.
Masturbating in front of your partner in the hope that she’ll join does not always work. And people on the bus stare at you.
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be totally impossible!