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Roses are red Your thong is pink Cover that up You`re not as hot as you think.
Instead of cars warning us of stupid things, like the door is open, it should tell us useful things, like there`s a cop hiding in the bushes
Liking something on Facebook instead of commenting is like nodding at someone in an elevator instead of saying hello.
Whenever I weigh myself, I always subtract 10 pounds. I don`t think boobs, brains, and an ass this fabulous should count against me.
Every day can be Friday if you`re really irresponsible.
My talent is being wasted, if that counts as a talent.
Anything I say or do before I`ve had my coffee doesn`t count.
There’s plenty of fish in the sea… I just suck at fishing.
Hey people who say I am boring and not interesting; FYI the police just called saying they want to talk to me because I am "a person of interest"
If anybody out there happens to have my voodoo doll, can u please scratch my balls. I happe to be in a public place at the moment.
Mom in poetic mood ....Asked me to express emptiness .... I showed her my wallet ........ n m cheek still burns .... :-p :-p
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up.
Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
I`m not ignoring your calls, I just love my ringtone.
A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least $50.