Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m not upset because it`s Monday, I`m upset because I have to wear pants
Your boyfriend has long hair too. I sometimes have trouble figuring out who the girl is in the relationship.
Health experts recommend a 1500 calorie diet. For those of you not good with math... that’s a 12-pack of 125 calorie beers. You`re welcome!!! ;)
One minute without you feels like 60 seconds.
This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it`s contagious.
My neighbor came rudely banging at my door at 2:30 am, luckily for him I was up practicing on my new drums
God is creative... I mean look at me??
If I had known "cuties" were little oranges when my wife asked me to "bring a few home," I could have avoided these awkward introductions.
When I text someone and they dont text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from overexcitement.
Applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist
Would people still go to the gym if Instagram didn`t exist?
I just bought a medical alert bracelet that says ... "Probably just sh!tfaced."
Where is the "Made In China" labels made?
Pay no attention to the pizza being delivered to the bush outside your bedroom window.
A homeless man told me he hadn`t had a bite in weeks, so I bit him.