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I have found that the best work from home occupation is a bartender
I think my front door faces the wrong direction. People keep finding it.
i hate not being able to correct the typo i just made in my previous statues update......DAMN IT! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
When I see people drinking at 11 am on a Friday I`m like, where do you work and are they hiring?
The girl in the car next to me is totally checking me out. I think she likes me. After I`m done picking my nose, I`m gonna smile and wave.
Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is play dumb.
If the world dosen`t end on the 21st, I sure do have a lot of MREs to gift wrap.
thinks we need to think like a first grade teacher and separate Romney and Gingrich next time they debate!
My coworkers and I do this fun thing where they say `It`s so cold out!` and I say `It`s winter` and then we silently hate each other.
I`m convinced that homeless people have all the shopping carts with 4 good wheels.
How do Amish girls know if it`s a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular one #DeepThoughts
If you see a porcupine in your yard, that`s my cat and we`re not done with our accupuncture session.
You`ll all be sorry when I figure out how to breathe fire.
Any way you can speed this up, officer? I`m obviously in a hurry.
Trail Mix: M&Ms with obstacles