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This bartender doesn`t know it yet, but she is probably going to make me 36 hours late for work tomorrow.
Grab the bull by the horns. The other end is too gross...
I`m sorry call me old fashioned,but i think your shorts should be longer than your vagina...
Your family tree must look like a cactus........everybody on it is a pr!ck
Thank you for informing me that you have a stick figure family of 6 and a dog. Your minivan had me under the impression that you were wild and single.
Soul mates are people with the mutual understanding that no one else will put up with their sh!t.
I love everybody. Some I love to be around. Some I love to avoid. And some Iād love to punch them in the face.
Unless otherwise stated, I have no idea what Iām talking about.
With my background and genetics, you guys should be happy I am half as normal as I am.
If anyone ever steals my identity, I hope they show it a good time. Take it skydiving. We`ve always wanted to go skydiving.
Apparently saying, "You mad, bro?" is frowned upon if you work in customer service.
Ladies first. Because it might be dangerous.
Maybe one day a loooong time ago a kid decided to play hide and seek with his pet Bigfoot but just didn`t explain the game properly.
i have noticed you notice me noticing you
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I would for sure pick living.