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Being `clean and sober` means I`ve showered and I`m headed to the liquor store.
Billy Ray Cyrus made a million dollars at a playgirl photo shoot. He just started taking his clothes off and they paid him to put them back on.
"Please don`t put a million dumb photos of me on your Facebook... it just annoys your friends" - Every baby
This prefessor`s nuts. He keeps saying pie is square. I know better, pies are round, cakes are square!
I overheard 2 girls say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
My mission is to be the first person on Facbook to have one million people on their block list. . .
Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
When your running down the street on fire, people will get out of your way
Stop Instagramming words. I`m not following you for your thoughts. Take off your f*cking shirt.
Time to get Star Spangled hammered. Happy 4th you crazy Americans.
My wife says I should use the term "make love" instead of "f*ck.". What the make love is she talking about?
Never change. Unless you’re an a$$hole. Then you should probably change a little.
I`m going to hire two private detectives to follow each other .
Duct tape can`t fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.
"Have you ever wondered if the $1 bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper butt? - You`re wondering now!!!"