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Having a contest with my couch and my washing machine to see who has more money. So far I`m in 3rd.
I`m still mad that video killed the radio star.
Just once I’d like to learn something the easy way.
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
All I heard was, " I swear it`ll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Black Friday, because after a day of thankfully stuffing your face, you deserve a deal on purchases you don’t need.
That message felt like a great idea until I hit send.
Please respect the revolving door speed that has already been established.
My kids are giving all the people on this airplane a hard lesson in birth control right now.
10 years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
exercise........you mean extra fries
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
I bet all the cool math nerds call each other algebros.
There`s no hiding it, my ex sucks at school... And in cars, alleys, and public restrooms...
Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, “try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal”