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Got my friend a Starbucks gift card. 2 weeks later I get a call. They said hey Dean, u put any money on this Starbucks gift card. I said no it´s a gift card. That´s the beauty of it u can put as much money on it as u want.
I’m classically trained in the art of Nintendo.
People who say `expresso` instead of `espresso,` may I axe you to please stop? Thanx.
No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don`t Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this.
I had no plans on looking sexy today, but sh!t happens.
Facebook is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.
I really need a day inbetween Saturday an Sunday
I`m a passionate supporter of things that don`t inconvenience me or require any type of action or physical effort.
You are the pebble in my shoe of people
I`d imagine the only thing worse then getting your period is not getting your period.
You had me at "do we need to stop at the liquor store on the way to your place"
90% of adulthood is just deleting emails.
You don`t get smarter as you get older. There just aren`t any stupid things left that you haven`t already done.
I`d like to have a child one day ... Two days, tops.
Some days are better than others. And those days always involve alcohol.