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Spent the morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
I can`t wait to procrastinate.
I wish pillsbury would think of another way to open biscuits without giving you a heart attack ;)
People who drive under the speed limit are probably the same people who drink decaf.
I always get a nice safe feeling whenever I see a police car and I realize I`m not driving around with a trunkful of cocaine.
People who say 45 minutes past the hour must be the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 month olds
Today`s interpretive dance was brought to you by "Spider On My Shirt". Up next we have "Oh jeeze, where did it go?!"
Every time I think I finally have the life I always dreamed of....I wake up.
I was going to do stand up comedy years ago but then I thought ...Ugghhh, standing...
Once in a while, someone amazing will come into your life. And here I am!
Darn right Iām good in bed. ...I can sleep for days.
People at airports must not workout much because they are all using these treadmills wrong...
I`m not lazy... I`m in energy saving mode.
Congratulation! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air! Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.