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I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings.
Why do they waste so much money on all the checkout lanes at Walmart, when they only have two of them open at any given time.
I just watched a puppy do something really cute. It was like a real life YouTube video.
The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That`s 15 minutes, right? I`m not reading too much into it?
Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.
I love salad! Just wish it had the taste and texture of pizza.
Bring a CD into my car that I "have to hear" and I`ll figure out a way to deploy the passenger side airbags
That moment when I try and be helpful to a blind man getting off the bus by saying, "watch your step"
life is short play naked
Hey, sorry I missed your call. I saw your name on the caller ID and I didn’t want to ruin my day by talking to you.
Nothing is better than seeing your ex with someone uglier than you!
Wtf neighbor I waved to you last week
Thanksgiving is a great time to test the boundaries of how drunk you can get before your family members notice.
If your life ever seems boring just remember that you are on a rock floating in outer space.